I certainly cannot explain it and some moms won’t ever understand. I recently went to a friend’s home to take pictures of her sweet newborn baby. I brought my 8 month old son with me who is now crawling and climbing all over the place. We are both nursing moms. She is new to it and still learning the ins and outs. It hasn’t been an easy process for her but I am so proud of her for continually trying for that sweet baby.
Lets rewind, when my son was first born I wanted no one to see me nurse other than my husband and my mother. I would force my mother in law to go in the other room, rush to the hot car if he was crying in public, and nurse him in a public bathroom if that wasn’t an option. The strange part is I love nursing my son. It has given us such a strong bond and has empowered me. I would scream it from the top of a roof if I could, that everyone that is able to- cherish this beautiful gift to nourish your little. So why was it so hard for me to feed him in public?
Culture has made it difficult for nursing mothers, creating a stigma. But, should we not praise these women for doing their best to nourish their baby, for sticking through the difficult first days?
So there we were, my friend who is a new mother, with no hesitation nurses right in front of me. William needed nursed shortly after we arrived, but instead of running to a guest bedroom- we enjoyed conversation while our children ate. It felt awkward at first, but I eventually reminded myself that this is such a beautiful and natural process. Her Mother in Law was in town to help and had walked in a couple times. Knowing she was once a mother of a newborn relieved any worry that was in the air. She helped my friend get up and down, cleaned and rocked the baby, and tidied the home. She remembered those first days as a mother and wanted to help in all the ways she possibly could.
In those moments I realized there is a Mom’s club, with a language of its own, Moms Code. Some mothers will hold their pride high above their head and never join. There is so much beauty and freedom though in joining that club. We admit that we don’t know it all and we ask the ones who have came before us. When our child falls down the little ledge in the living room, we don’t stare at each other in embarrassment. We know that those moms have seen there kids also crash but, always cheer them forward. We don’t feel the need to put makeup on for early morning coffee. We can admit our fears, and that we check our babies every 3 minutes after they go to sleep. We can cry to each other, trying to understand how so much love and exhaustion can be combined in a single relationship. We share our recipes, stories, and advice. We feed our children together. Most importantly, we realize that the other mothers are figuring this out just like we are, and that it is an amazing and challenging job to raise children.
I think before that day I was holding a little pride. I believed in the Moms Club but I always swung back and forth between pride and humility. It was a never-ending pendulum. In that moment though, I realized the amazing grace, joy, and help the moms club brings. God created us to be in community with one another, and there is no coincidence that they say it takes a village to raise a child.
So, I am jumping in. I am joining the moms club. I am laying down my pride and picking up the freedom that it brings.