“Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.” –Thema Davis
In a world as fast paced as ours we only have so much time and so much energy for all of the things and people we want to see. At some point we have to choose what stays and what goes. To often I see people let toxic things stay in their lives out of comfort or ease. You will only be as happy as the people you surround yourself with so choose wisely. Everyone has flaws and obviously you can’t prune them all. My suggestion is to let go of the ones that suck you dry, the ones who cripple you, the ones who leave you gasping for air, the ones toxic to your soul. Below are 8 types of people that I have found that do just that to me.
1. The User- The friend who comes around only when they need something. You could be crying your eyes out from a loss and they are to busy. The minute even the slightest thing happens to them, they are sitting on your doorstep. These people suck all of our energy and never are there to replenish it. You can explain to them how you feel, if it doesn’t change, prune them.
2. The Gossiper- I feel everyone does their fair share of gossip whether we want to admit it or not. This specific friend pours their life into it. They often get entangled in all the stories. Somehow they have even made them personal to themselves. These people cannot be trusted. Gossip is their end goal. Instead of keeping your secret they tell just the right person to stir just the right amount of drama. They could have the best of intentions but their mouths get in the way. I do have friends like this but I keep them at quite some distance.
3. The One in Limbo- This correlates with number two. There could be a specific situation where you have a friend who is friends with an enemy. They gossip to both of you behind your backs creating a bigger web of drama. They can’t be friends with both of you because they want to be to heavily involved in the games. They are constantly in limbo.
4. The Cynic- Their life is horrible. The food always sucks. They are always to busy. It is either to cold or to hot. It is to early or to late. They don’t want to do that activity but the alternative also sucks. Are you catching my drift? The cynics are never happy. They make it impossible for the people around them to be happy because they are constantly throwing cynicism into the atmosphere.
5. The Unsupportive- I never have understood this type of person. They simply are unsupportive of the success of others. They tell you your ideas will fail, or think your crazy. They get jealous when you are excelling and they are not. They often think you are copying them. True friends will be supportive of your dreams. They will soak in your success with you. An even better friend will tell you when something wont work but give you the alternative because your success is important to them.
6. The Jokester- Whatever the season of my life, I always seem to find one of these people around me. I think it is God’s way of helping me to deal with them. They are the ones who always have to be making someone the butt end of a joke. This includes you their friend, “its all in fun.” The problem though is they are not just simple jokes. They bluntly put you and all of the people around them down to make themselves feel better, and then blame it on a joke. They are insecure and think you should pay for that. CUT THEM NOW!
7. The Flasher- No, this has nothing to do with nudity. The Flashers show off everything they have- their money, their cars, their careers, their houses. They buy peoples friendship. They often forget who their true friends are because people will flock to them to reap the benefits of their mindset. They often have to make sure you know that they have more then you. Instead of sharing their wealth kindly, they shove it down your throat time and time again. They often have very superficial relationships because they have learned to relate on a material level.
8. The Unapologetic- As I stated above, we all have faults. True friends can approach each other about their differences and the friend will be apologetic. Unapologetic people are impossible to deal with. The problem is always yours and never theirs. They rarely correct issues because it shouldn’t be their responsibility. They push their wrong doings under the rug and expect you to move on. True friendships are worth fighting for but this friend makes that impossible.
Your happiness directly relates to the people you spend your time with. Do not be afraid to let people go if it means you will be that much happier in the long run. If I did this to anyone, I pray they would drop me from their contact list as well. With one life to live, I pray it is rich. I hope the sun shines on your face, you dance in the rain, you dream beyond the stars. I hope that you let no one hold you back from the life you imagine. Get rid of the poison. Do not be afraid of losing toxic people, it will open your time and heart for people who help you flourish.