At My Husbands Feet


He sat on the side of the boat smiling at William as we stared off into the distance at the crashing waves and the most beautiful and vivid sunset I can remember. We passed a small island and joked of building a house there when we are old. Exhaustion had overcome him as I put William to sleep by myself that evening. He usually loved helping on the weekends. He had a long day of work and play. He woke early that Sunday, and turned to cuddle me-a sweet treat in our busy lives. I remember so clearly the way his body formed next to mine. Knowing we would be leaving the Keys that day, he packed as much as he could. He leaned over to kiss both William and I. He and his brother left to head out fishing with the guys. I woke a couple hours later with William. We waited at the hotel for hours while the girls went shopping. I called Fareed to complain how bored I was. He said go have fun, we are in such a beautiful place- don’t just wait around the room. He told me they would be back soon from fishing and we would head home to Orlando. They had taken off late that morning, so he had no idea what time they would return. He parted with “Love you babe.” Shortly after, the wives and kids arrived at the resort. I headed to the pool to meet them. It was so hot. I remember dipping into the pool just for relief. We walked down to the beach and showed the kids the large dock. They loved seeing the fish swimming underneath. I sat at the tiki bar and ordered a virgin daiquiri and lunch to share with William. I remember Christina darting towards me. “Grab William, we have to go.” I told her we had just ordered lunch. She said something was wrong. I jumped from my chair. I asked “who”. She didn’t answer. I yelled “WHO!!” And she replied Fareed. Knowing my husband never drinks water, I assumed he had got dehydrated on the boat. As we ran to the car she told me we needed to head to the closest hospital. She was driving fast- I told her to slow down, we don’t want to get into an accident. She knew the severity, I didn’t. We walked into the hospital and they said he had not arrived. I asked if they need my insurance, they weren’t concerned with that but getting me to the small room. I hate that small room. Once we went in, the nurse asked some questions, I asked what happened, how serious it was. Her next words would shatter me into a million pieces. My heart fell out of my chest. “He is in critical condition, if you would like a couple moments with your husband- you need to go back immediately as he arrives.” Christina rushed in to the loud and uncontrolled sobbing. His brother, who had rode in the ambulance, walked in. I asked him, begged him, “what happened, is he ok” He wouldn’t respond, nothing. They told me I could go back. My husband laid there as many nurses and doctors did everything they could. I don’t remember a word they said, I just remember sitting at my husbands feet doing the only thing I knew how. I prayed for life to come back to his lifeless body. He didn’t move, only jolted every time a machine was attached. He was already colder than usual. His eyes no longer held the sweetness they once did. I pleaded with God. I don’t think I have ever prayed a more sincere prayer in my life. I don’t think I have wanted a prayer answered more than I did that moment. I didn’t understand, I didn’t know what to do, so I weeped to the only person who can give and take life. I cried out to the author of our stories. And than a hand was placed on me. Exactly 3 months ago, the doctor looked at me sadly and said “the patient is pronounced dead at
3:05.” Those words will never leave my mind. I will never forget how the nurses and doctors left one by one. I was left there at my husbands feet, with mangled hopes and a shattered soul. I sat there crying out to God. “Why, Why.” I knew in those moments he was holding him. But why could I not be the one holding him? I ran my fingers through his hair, unresponsive and empty. I knew in those moments I was alone. God reminded me as I left that room without my husband- he was holding my hand. That he is the author and was facing those terrible moments with me that lied ahead. I was numb and empty as I entered that waiting room. My son was there playing, little did he know the tragedy that had just occurred. To young to realize the pain and sorrow that was just put on his shoulders. Those thoughts crushed me. I must remember God is Good. There is much more to our story, both before and after that awful Sunday. That Sunday was a complete plot change, a heartbreak like no other. I cried out to God, and many may think he didn’t respond, but He did. There at my husbands feet, He responded with a promise of a Beautiful reunion, he responded with the comfort of a Father, he responded that he will carry us. He responded that he is the Author.

The Sunset



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