S.S.Jubilee

  
The anniversary of this day is quickly approaching. Grief is much different now, significantly smaller. My loss will always be a part of me but it doesn’t consume me anymore. I feel I can live again, dream again. His memory is a piece of my heart, and certain dates make that piece pull a little harder. But it’s not pain, not the same way. The memories of him have become vivid once again because the pain isn’t sharp anymore. I can remember him and our life together clearer with the acceptance of his loss. At some point in grief we say it is time to close this chapter, no matter how hard we fight, they are not coming back. That acceptance allowed me to move forward and in a strange way allowed me to free up space in my heart to carry him with me. Because I have accepted that no matter how hard it hurt, I was only given 800 days. And with that I say thank you, and with that I ask where we go from here. Loss will always be a part of me. He will always be a part of me. But Grief, this heavy subject that tore me to my core is fading. He loved the way writing, decorating, cooking, taking photos, and absorbing the little things made me happy. He was the motivation to help start my blog in the first place. And with what would have been our third anniversary coming up on the 9th, I want to honor that. I can see the excitement and the twinkle in his eyes still. He didn’t care if I was the best, he cared that I was happy. We held each other in that way. Life has changed a lot since then. I don’t have the time to blog everyday. And quite honestly I have so many things I want to share with you- Recipes, stories, photos. But this self, is different. I’ve lived a lot in between. And I want to share this life with you. I know I haven’t been grief writing a lot anyways, but it truly is time to let go. Here is to new beginnings in honor of painful endings. S.S.Jubilee is coming back, because I’m back. And I hope your along for this ride to! 

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