As I watch the patterns of my soul, I see the shifts. The places God is trying to take hold. I’ve been in a such a season of desire. Simple things like how I would love to live on a lake, desire to be slower, desire for the boys’ health and happiness, desire for a more connected life.I live in the constant battle between gratitude and desire. Gratitude for all of the amazing blessings that surround us, but deep desire because life isn’t as it ought to be. 

And I think in that desire I start to live as a less authentic version of myself. Surface conversations, busyness, tiredness, which can lead me to a place of discontentment. 

And as I watch the patterns I get thankful for rainy weeks which cause me to slow, to read, to watch the story God is writing and refocus. To pray for contentment. And that as I desire, I can still rest in the promises of Gods goodness and trust where he is leading us.

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